How To: Have More Self-Confidence

Do you ever look in the mirror and think, I'm not good enough?
I did for a long while, I hated the way I looked and found it extremely hard to love myself for who I was. For those who don't really know me I am a child by heart.

I love to have a good laugh and I have a bit of a weird personality, if that's one way to explain it, and found I didn't feel like I could fit in anywhere and that just made me hate myself more. I felt like I couldn't be myself in front of anyone which leads to one thing...unhappiness.

I want to share this post with you all because I have learnt a few things over the years. It took a long time for me to realise and I really want to help those who have very little confidence in themselves. I know the feeling, and when you're unhappy you're really not you, even if you fake the happiness, you're still not you. So here are a few tips on how I am slowly managing to love myself for who I am, and for you to build that self-confidence that you need too.

Firstly, tell yourself that you love everything about yourself. Did you know, that girl that you like to compare self too, that girl where you wished you had her laugh, or her eyes and you think there's nothing you would change about her because she looks fine just how she is, that girl most likely has self doubts about herself too, looking at other people wishing she had their laugh, or their smile even. No body is perfect, we are all unique in our own way, I like to say we are limited edition, aha! People probably look at you and think, damn...I wish I had her personality she's so funny. So STOP comparing yourself to everyone else and start to love yourself for who you are.

I spent two weeks away with my family in America and there was one thing I learnt, and that's to say NO. Not to many family of course, but to the people back in the UK, When you have low self-esteem you may find yourself trying to please others to make them like you more. This is something I did for a long time, always saying yes to something I didn't want to do because I knew it was what they wanted and kept them happy, at the end of the day you are left unhappy. Whilst I was away, it was really refreshing to clear my mind and I am now learning to do what makes me happy. If you say no and they're not happy about it, tough! Don't you dare change your mind. It is okay to be selfish and to say no. Once you've done it a few times it gets easier, I know it's hard but the true people who likes you for who you are will stay by your side.

Set yourself small goals, challenges for yourself that you're afraid of doing. Mine is going out on my own. I always double check myself in the mirror to make sure I look okay, and if my outfit went with my shoes because I was more worried what other people, the strangers on the street would think of the way I looked. Today I went out twice on my own, and it was amazing. It could be anything small like trying a new recipe or taking up a new hobby. This will make you feel better about yourself. Yes, sometimes it can be hard but you have to take that leap of faith and just go for it, and once you've done it the second time round will be a lot easier.

Focus on your positives, learn how to accept compliments and celebrate what you succeed. Write a list about what you like about yourself. In time you will slowly learn to love yourself a bit more. Celebrating what you have achieved is very rewarding. It really picks you up and makes you feel a whole load better about yourself. It doesn't need to be a big award, could be as little as treating yourself to that DVD you really wanted.

Taking care of yourself. Things such as stress, little sleep, not eating properly, little exercise and drugs and alcohol really does have a big impact with the way you feel. I stupidly turned to alcohol time to time when I felt like I needed picking up. Thinking that going out most nights was the best choice, it really wasn't, because it made me hate myself more. Little change in your life choices can make a huge difference with the way you think mentally and how you look. It's okay to spend time on yourself, have a night in to focus on what's best for you.

Take yourself away from negativity. Social media is probably the worst, everything is posted on there, and the best thing I've done is take yourself away from it for a week, or for however long you need to be off it. It really changes the way you think about yourself, not comparing yourself to those models out there, listening to the hate, you name it. It's refreshing, you don't have to delete your account but just delete the apps and reinstall them when you're ready again.

If you find things are getting too much, it's okay to get the support you need. talk to your friends, family or talk to a professional. It's okay to get help, it doesn't make you a failure. If anything it makes you much stronger for taking that very hard step, asking for help!
You're beautiful the way you are, inside and out. Smile more, stay positive and if you fall down, pick yourself up dust yourself off and keep moving forward. You've got this girl, stay strong!

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