No amount of nesting, reading, or late-night Googling could have prepared me for the first few weeks of life with my baby. The love is instant and overwhelming, but so is the exhaustion, the adjustment, and the feeling that life as you knew it has completely shifted.
As a first-time mum, I’m only just beginning to understand what the “fourth trimester” really means, those first fragile, beautiful, chaotic weeks that blur together in a mix of feeds, nappies, cuddles, and tears (yours and theirs).
Here’s what I’ve learned so far, the things no one really tells you about the first month with a newborn.
The Nights Feel Endless
When the world is quiet and you’re up for the fourth feed, it’s easy to feel like time has stopped. The hours between midnight and sunrise can feel like a lifetime.
But somehow, the sun always rises again. And when it does, you realise you made it through another night, a small victory that deserves more credit than we often give ourselves.
You Start to Wonder Who You Are Now
One of the hardest adjustments for me has been the shift in identity. For just over nine months, you’re preparing for motherhood, but the moment your baby arrives, it’s as though your entire sense of self is rewritten overnight.
You’re still you, but you’re also someone completely new. You’re learning how to care for this tiny human while trying to remember who you were before sleepless nights and muslin cloths.
It’s okay to feel like you’ve lost your footing for a while. You’re not failing, you’re evolving.
Bonding Doesn’t Always Happen Instantly — and That’s Okay
This was something I wasn’t prepared for.
When my son, William, was born, I thought the bond would be instant, that cinematic rush of love everyone talks about. But our start was more complicated.
He had a tongue tie, and I struggled to breastfeed. I’d had a C-section and was in pain, unable to bend, lift, or even change his nappies for the first couple of weeks. Every feed felt like a battle, and I remember lying awake at night, feeling guilty that I couldn’t do more for him, that I wasn’t doing it “right.”
But what I’ve learned is that bonding doesn’t have a deadline. It grows in tiny, quiet moments, the way he curls his fingers around mine, the sleepy sighs during cuddles, the first time I could properly hold and soothe him without wincing in pain.
The “Cute Outfits” Can Wait
Before my baby was born, I couldn’t resist looking at all the adorable outfits, tiny cardigans, miniature jeans, matching sets. Thankfully I resisted buying any.
But here’s the truth: in those early weeks, babygrows and sleepsuits are your best friends. Especially the ones with ZIPS!! Huge game changer.
They’re soft, easy, and comfortable for both of you. There will be plenty of time later for the picture-perfect outfits. Right now, it’s all about practicality, comfort, and making life just a little bit easier.
The Mum Guilt Comes Fast — But So Does the Love
No one warned me about the tug-of-war that happens in your heart. You crave a few quiet minutes to yourself, whether that's to shower, drink a cup of tea, or just breathe, but as soon as you do, you miss your baby.
That’s the paradox of motherhood: wanting space and closeness all at once.
I’m learning that it’s okay to have both. Taking a few minutes for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. Your baby needs a happy, grounded mum, not a perfect one.
The first month with a newborn is raw and real, a mix of tears and tenderness, exhaustion and awe.
You’re learning, every single day, how to be a mum, how to love in a new way, and how to find yourself again through it all.
The nights won’t always feel so long, your confidence will grow, and one day you’ll look back and realise how far you’ve come, even if right now, you’re just surviving one feed at a time.
0 comments